A few weeks ago I went to the doctor to try and find out why I haven't been able to sleep for shit.
Granted, I'm a parent so I haven't really had a decent nights sleep in about 20 years.
Also, my hysterectomy 2 years ago has thrown me into full blown menopause.
Anyway, my sleep has been worse than my normal crappy sleep.
So, my doctor sent me for a Sleep Study to see if maybe I was suffering from sleep apnea.
My son dropped me off at the center at 8pm on Friday night and I was taken to a private room.
It was really nice.
Queen size pillow top bed, fluffy pillows and soft cotton sheets.
It was like being in a hotel.
Till I got to the bathroom.
It looked like a hospital bathroom ... only, there was no shower.
Well, maybe it won't be so bad.
I was wrong.
The therapist comes in, opens a closet door and starts taking out a whole bunch of wires.
She has me sit in a chair and proceeds to start washing my arms, legs, face, scalp and chest
Then she starts attaching all these damn electrodes to me.
THEN all the damn wires!
I feel like Frankenstein.
Only with better hair.
Well, it WAS better till the stupid vaseline and electrodes were attached.
There I am ... aren't I stunning?!
Well, I wasn't done yet.
Oh no, I still had to have the belt across the chest (you can see part of it in the pic) and another
across the hips.
Next was the strip that ran under my nose from cheek to cheek.
Finally, a plastic piece up both nostrils and another that "sat" just inside my mouth.
Now, sleep like you normally would.
Are you serious?????
How the hell does ANYONE sleep with all that crap attached to you?
I sure didn't.
It was horrible.
This week I received a call from the center ....
The doctor wants me back in for another test.
Apparently my breathing becomes very shallow, but it doesn't stop.
I have no idea what will come of this.
I just know that I get to spend Valentines Day tied up.
Just not in the way I prefer.