March 18, 2005

Beki .....

Some people in this world suffer far more than any person should have to, and at some point, you keep asking why. Beki was one of those people. She had the biggest brown eyes, and a beautiful smile. She stopped REALLY smiling after all her teeth fell out from severe calcium deficiency, but I could still get her to smile, cause she knew I didn't care ..... I loved her. One of the most intelligent and creative women I have ever known, she faced all her many medical problems with quiet strength. I often marveled at how she could stay so calm when she knew her prognosis was quite bad. It was rare that she ever allowed herself to cry about her circumstances, but sometimes it was too overwhelming, even for her.

As I sit here, I wonder if there wasn't more I could have done for her. I would have done anything, given anything, tried anything, just to take away some of the pain she was in. You see, she was a 28 year old woman with the body of 90 year old .... literally. Her organs shut down one by one in a very long and painful process. How she managed to even get out of bed some days, I will never know.

People come into our lives for a reason, and I know that Beki's was to teach me. She taught me patience, perseverance, and strength. She amazed me and inspired me ... she still does. She was funny, witty, quiet and beautiful. She was truly an angel walking among us. My life has been forever changed because of her, and I only wish I could thank her for allowing me to be a part of her life, and for sharing herself with me.

My heart has been shattered by your passing, and I will miss you more than words can express. I am sorry that my second son will never know the amazing light in my life known as you, but even more sorry that your own son will never know how much you loved him, and that he's the reason you were able to fight as long as you did.


At 6/2/05, 4:40 PM , Blogger Buffalo said...

Blaze, those we love leave our presence for only a short time. As long as we remember them, honor them, tell those we love about them, they live still on this plain.


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Abandon all hope, ye who enter here .....

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