l

January 24, 2007

Pamprin is for PUSSIES



















*** WARNING ***

PMS INDUCED RANT TO FOLLOW

From MONDAY:
I am in the most foul of moods today.
Why?
Because I REALLY don't like being given a task, told that it's "all you!" and having the person who gave me said task (MAN) go behind my back and CHANGE every fucking thing I did!
Micro-managers REALLY chap my delicate ass.
All micro-managing does is create contempt (from ME).

Grrrrr .....


I know that in the past, I have alluded to the fact that I do not care for the men type folk in my household who do not know how to clean up their piss off the bathroom floor.
I even mentioned how I would just LOVE to have a bathroom designed for their needs.
Specifically, a floor-to-ceiling urinal that would traverse the length of one wall.
Since THAT is not an option, I have found this:

Ok, it's really made for toilet training a toddler, but fuck it, if the "older boys" can't seem to master the concept of pissing into a fucking toilet bowl without getting it on the floor,
then they'll just have to take
their flushing urinal that is height adjustable AND portable and go
piss somewhere that I DON'T HAVE TO SEE/STEP/SIT/SMELL IT!


From TUESDAY:
Short men driving waytoofuckingbigforthemSUVS AND talking on their i'msofuckingimportantIhaveaBlackberry must learn how to actually STOP at a fucking red light BEFORE turning on red.
Dickless wonder cut me off, and I had nowhere to go.
Thank Zeus no one was behind me as I jammed on my brakes and tried in vain to shove my horn up his ASS.
Now, the good news is that my waytoofuckingsmallformebuthadtohaveMustang has a very nice set of BALLS when she wants (or needs) to.
I whipped into the left lane, pulled up alongside Dickless, and proceeded to tell him just how atrocious his "mad driving skillz" were.
I did this thru SIGN LANGUAGE of course.
He looked bewildered.
He look stunned.
He looked REALLY fucking small to be in such a ginormous vehicle.
Seriously, he could barely see over the steering wheel.

Guess he has OTHER "issues" than crapass driving.

Moving right along.
Get into my office and the phone (s) are already ringing and beeping.
Fuck me.
Can't even get a cup-o-coffee before the bullshit merry-go-round starts.
Phone: "YippeeSkipee from SuckAss Construction here, Lot 132 in BallBuster Park failed inspection, we gotta take it off the schedule fer today."
Me: "Sorry to hear that YippeeSkipee, will it be ready on Wed?"
Phone: "Nope."
Me: "Ok, how about I call you on Thursday to check?"
Phone: "I just said it's not ready!"
Me: "How about you call me when it is and i'll put it on the schedule, k?"
Phone: "whatever."
*CLICK*

??????????????????????

Moving along .....
Nextel: "Hey Office Goddess, this is Stoner #1, we're out here at The BatCave and um, like we have no tape."
Me: "flashing tape?"
Nextel: "um ............................................................................................. yeah."
Me: "let me call ScatterBrain and see if he can run some over to you. How many rolls do you need?"
Nextel: "um ............................................................................................... like, maybe 2. 5 maybe."
Me: "2 or 5?"
Nextel: "k"

In my head i'm screaming ....... "Lay off the Chronic dude!"
Fuck!!!!!
Get the Stoners taken care of, it's now 9:15 and I STILL have no coffee!
Go into bathroom to get my rinsed out coffee cup and what do I see?????
1. PISS all over the floor AND the TOILET SEAT .......
2. Itty-bitty black HAIRS all over the sink from "someone" shaving!
WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am the only female in this joint.
I have Red hair, and I shave at home.


TODAY:
I am pleased to announce that as of this moment, Wednesday January 24, 2007 11:15am est, that NO MAN has pissed me off.

Yet.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here .....

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Who links to me?