I'm speshul ....

...... my kids told me so!

Sorry i've been MIA from blogland for a bit.
If I were in Australia i'd say i'v been on walkabout.
But i'm not there.
And I HAVEN'T been.
What I have been is busy.
Cleaning.
Painting.
Cooking.
Cleaning.
Painting.
Getting sick.
Working.
Taking care of sick kids.
Oh .... and now "we" have decided to rip apart the 2nd floor bath and re-do it.
Oh yeah ....

I know y'all don't give a fuck ....
YOU are just as busy (if not busier) dealing with psychotic kids/pets/spouses/bosses and yet you all seem to manage to find time to toss up a post (or 15).
Truth is, I haven't felt like posting either.
It's not that I don't have shit to write about (I don't), I just REALLY haven't been in the mood.
Yeah ..... I suck like that.
*meh*

The real excitement in my life has been from the freakmail I've been getting of late.
Here's a sampling of some of the freakmail I have received of late:

"I LIKE TO HAVE TWO FINGERS IN MY ASS AT ALL TIMES AND HAVE A WOMAN PULL ON MY NIPPLES TILL I WHIMPER THEN MAKE ME HOLD THE WHIMPERS IN TILL I CANT STAND IT AND THEY POUR OUT AND I CUM IN MY PANTS LIKE A SCHOOLBOY.
CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?"
My preferred reply: I have a 10 inch dildo that I think would work better, you game?

"I love sharing forbidden and taboo sex secrets, really get my juices flowing! Like, the first time was with my younger brother, I was 13 he was 12. Then with my aunt and my moms twin sister" (from a woman)
My preferred reply: I'm guessing here ..... but was your brother was a bad lay?

"WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOUR PRETTY, LITTLE FEET...LOVE TO SEE WHAT YOUR SOFT, SEXY SOLES LOOK LIKE!"
My preferred reply: Ooooohhh ...... you'll LOVE the bunion on the left! It's HUGE! ;)

"Are you topless?!"
My preferred reply: Are you dickless?

" My name is Prince Goodluck Alozie.i live here in Kuala Lumper Malaysia. It gives me a great happiness to write you. I will be waiting to hear from you in my box. From Prince Goodluck Alozie"
My preferred reply: Goodluck Prince .... it's gonna be a wee bit tough to hear me from your box.

That's just a small sampling of the ridiculous.

The world is FILLED with all kinds of people, and we ALL have our kinks, perversions and quirks.
Thank GOD for it!
I am all for them! It would be boring as hell if we all liked the same things.
However, please allow me the indulgence of getting a chuckle out of them.
Not passing judgment or making fun, just sometimes these emails crack my shit up.
Don't hate me because I find the humor in them.
Now, if you're the guy who IM'd me and wanted to know if I like to be double-teamed while suspended from the ceiling, gagged and blindfolded ..... email me.