February 11, 2010

Past into present ???

How much of past relationships is it "ok" to bring into a present one?
Shared activities, books, music, food, clothing tastes, hairstyle.
I know it sounds like an easy question to answer, but it's not.
We all carry things from past relationships that we either learned, already liked or experienced together.
Sometimes it's minor things like being introduced to a hot new artist, music, books.
Other times, I have seen people try to completely remake their new love into their past one.
Hair, clothing, makeup, right down to perfume/cologne.
Then there's the sex.
What past experiences are taboo to bring into into a new relationship?
Are there any?

We all bring parts our past with us ... it's what makes us who we are.
I think my curiosity lies more in if you see patterns repeating themselves.
You know, having a relationship that is eerily similar to a previous one.

I have seen a friend of mine in this scenario .... and I worry.
I'm uneasy about it, and i'm not sure if I should be.
Or maybe i'm just "reading" more into it all.

These are the things that wander aimlessly through my head.
Welcome to it!  (LOL)

So ..... any thoughts?


At 2/11/10, 7:41 AM , Blogger The Savage said...

Food is always okay as long as it doesn't accompany a story about how great your ex was at making it or doing naughty things with it. Art is good. Music is fine.
Just don't openly compare the present one to the ex('s)....

At 2/11/10, 7:44 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

try as i might to make each partnership new, there is spillage. i only discuss it when it's mucking around in my head to the point of distraction. and the sex? never seems to be an issue there... that's just so unique...

At 2/11/10, 1:11 PM , Blogger Walker said...

Our past molds our future.
Things that we like we tend to keep but there are things that we didn't like that we avoid or use against our partners in the new relationship.
This is hard to really answer because some things that might remind of you a bad past experience may not be as bad in the new one but the experience is tainted by the last.

Personally I just move on and if something arises that I don't agree with, I say it, explain the whys and if I can make it an enjoyable positive experience with my new partner to proceed to explore that avenue.
If not, I move on to something the both of us can enjoy.

At 2/11/10, 3:30 PM , Blogger Jimmy Bastard said...

I live in a constant mix of both past and present, but I would never consider trying to rekindle an oul flame with that of a new love. Dangerous ground methinks.

At 2/13/10, 3:10 PM , Blogger Boxer said...

I believe we are a combination of our past and present.


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