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December 20, 2005

Yo ho ho .....

My Dad flies in from the Frozen Fucking Tundra today.
In fact, I SHOULD be getting my cute/sorry/lame ass in gear.
His flight lands at 10:00am, it's at least a 30 min drive, and I still have to:
Make a bottle for Poot.
Change diaper.
Put his pants on.
Load diaper bag.
Get him into car seat.
Make sure The Boy is dressed.
Make sure The Boy has brushed his teeth.
Make sure The Boy combs his hair (NASTY bed head!).
Comb MY hair.
Brush MY teeth.
what am I forgetting?????
Oh yeah .... get dressed (yes, I am typing this naked).
Load said children into waytoosmallforallofusbutIlookhotdrivingit mustang.
Drive to airport on roadways jammed with fucktards.
Cuss MANY times.
I'm sure i'll almost get killed at least once on my way.
Somewhere on my journey, gas up the waytoosmallforallofusbutcuteasfuck Pony.
Fight with fucktards at airport.
Pick up the Dadster at the curb.
Jam all his shit into my waytoosmallforallofusbutjust"hadtohave" vert.
Did I mention that my waytoosmallforallofus mommobile has NO FUCKING TRUNK SPACE?????
Yeah.
Anyway ......... drive home all the while catching up with Dad, cussing at fucktards and trying NOT to get killed.
Come home.
Unload.
Start chain smoking and drinking a bottle (1.75) of rum.

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