January 27, 2006

Flippy-Floppy Fucky Friday...

Where have I been?
Well lemme tellya ...

Fuck it, I have no real excuse.
I've been a lazy ass is what it boils down to.

I am trying to get a few things together, and MOTHERFUCKINGSONOFABITCH, my PIECE OF DOG DICK computer WILL NOT cooperate!
(Yeah, I have issues ...... Whatfuckingever)

A good friend of mine wants me to submit some of my rather, "risque" writings for possible publication.
Sounds easy enuff, right?????
Well, we don't have fucking Word on the computer.
We have Microsoft Works, which DOES have a word processor, but all my submissions (I LOVE that word!) need to be in Word.
Soooooo ....... NOW I've been in a mad frenzy to try and locate the fucking disk that has Word on it so I can install the fucker and transfer my erotic (porn) stories so I can send them out and MAYBE become FUCKING PUBLISHED!
Not just internet published, I mean like a REAL FUCKING BOOK published.
Oh yeah, all my writings are either in Microsoft Works Word Processor OR they are on a floppy disk that I can't access.
Why can't I access them???
Well, lemme just tellya .....
See, my laptop took the big shit last March, and in desperation, we bought a PC that was cheap, easy and no frills (like me)
I like it okay, except ..... there's no floppy.
FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, here I sit, with my lusty tales of erotica and porn, and no way to submit 'em.
Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck!
Yeah, i'm sayin FUCK a lot today.

Anywho, I also want to do a post to commemorate the 20th anniversary of my drunken/stoned adventures through Europe.
You know, the usual shit;too much booze(as IF!), too much hash(as IF!), Italian students who spoke very little english (there IS a God ... *sigh*), discos, hookers, red light districts, Greenpeace demonstrations, oh, and all the historical shit I saw too.
I might throw some of my high school graduation and prom pics in there as well.
I have most of the pics I want to use just waiting to be scanned,
however, the software for the scanner has been removed from the computer.
Well, lemme tellya ..... I have an all-in-one, and right now the printer is majorly fucked.
So yeah, everything else has to be taken offline as well.
Do you think I have ANY fucking clue where THAT disk might be?????
FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Do I know that this post rambles, rants and bitches incessantly about nothing???
Yep! Do I give a fuck? Nope! If you're still reading this, yippee fucking skippy to you! You bored or something?)

Where was I???
Oh yeah.
So, as you can plainly see, i'm NOT dead.
I'm just too fucking lazy to post anything worthwhile and decent for y'all to read.

Now that I've wasted your time, and basically said shit about shit, I need to finish tearing apart my house.
If you don't hear from me by next Friday, send rum.
Fuck it, send me the goddamn rum anyway.

Here's my new flip-flops:

LOVE them as I do, or fuck right off.


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