August 25, 2009

Contrary to popular belief ....

I am not dead.
Although, I believe there may be a few people who wish I were.
Ok, maybe not dead dead.
Maybe just disappear longer,
Or altogether.
They can just suck it up.

Moving along ......

I hope you all have been well.
The last 2 weeks has been a whirlwind of activity, and it's not even over yet!
I get the joy of doing laundry quickly ..... VERY quickly.
The Boys start the second leg of their end-of-summer blowout vacation
on Wednesday by boarding a plane and heading into the hellish heat of the South
in August.
Better them than me.
I have a week of NO CHILDREN.
And I have plans .... oh do I have plans.
They include Jack.
Not the whiskey version ... but just as potent.
No no, the Jack I am referring to is the one that gets my heart racing, blood pumping, toes curling and makes me scream with delight.

I digress.
Let me back track a bit.
The last 2 weeks the boys & I spent with Jack and his kids.
It was a major deal for me.
In fact, I was such a wreck I didn't sleep for a week (more).
I can't explain it, it's just how I am.
I analyze, over analyze and analyze again.
Not just a detail or 2 ..... EVERY FUCKING THING!
Anywho, so the boys and I show up on his doorstep.
It was night time, but I didn't think it was any reason for Jack to just stare at me through the locked screen door.
I figured once he heard the mellifluous tones of my voice he would leap up and rush to unlock the door and take me in his arms.
Ummm ....... not so much.
He had his music blaring.
He couldn't hear me.
Nor could he see me.
The doorbell was broke too.
Finally, he saw a wee little person next to a bigger person with 2 heads and decided he should investigate.
I mean, how often does one get to see a 2 headed Witch AND Mini Me?

Boy was he shocked to discover it was merely me and the boys.

The following days were a whirlwind of food, drink, swimming, meeting people and sight seeing.
By the end of the 2 weeks, the kids were acting like siblings and we (Jack & I) were fucking exhausted.
Not from fucking either.
We need a vacation from THAT vacation.

OH! I did almost leap over a table an beat the hell out of some drunken cow who yelled at Lil' man. Seems he spilled her coffee when he bumped the leg of the table trying to get up from his seat and come to me.
I apologized for my 4 year old, and she turned to me and said, "Well, it's not HIM that's getting burnt! I AM!"
Me: "I truly am sorry, he was only trying to get to me"
The cow then decides that my apology is not nearly enough and throws her sopping wet napkin she used to mop up the spilled coffee at The Boy.
Oh yeah, I let loose.
She had no right to throw shit at my other son.
The cow ignored me.
NOT wise.
It only fueled my anger even more.
I could feel my face getting hot, so I knew I was turning red.
The cows husband, trying to play it cool is trying to shush me because my voice is getting louder and louder.
Poor Jack was sitting across from me trying to get me to calm down, and I did.
Sort of.
I sat there and stewed.
And made snide comments.
What I REALLY wanted to do was leap over the table and stuff that wet napkin down her throat till she gagged on it.
I don't like bad drunks, and she was their poster child.
The only reason I stopped was for my kids and Jack.
No one wants to see me THAT pissed off.
Not even me.

Other than that, the trip with both of us and our kids was very successful.
The kids are making plans for the next one.
I'm just looking forward to my vacation from my vacation.
Celebrating another year that I have woken up on the right side of the dirt, some quality alone time with Jack and then the kids going back to school.

Oh wait, that means I go back to school to.

Ah well ..... I still have my last bang of the summer (dirty joke totally intended) to look forward to.
There may be pictures this time.


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