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February 22, 2006

I'll solve the puzzle .....


That pretty much sums up my day so far.

********************

Quick question ....

Why don't houses come equipped with urinals??
Seriously.
Dick talked about putting one in his new house, and I think it's absolutely brilliant!

I realize that trying to aim into a bowl that's a few feet (inches, for those obsessed with size) away from your pecker is not an easy thing to do (especially in the morning), but GODDAMN!!!
I am sick of cleaning piss up off the floor, the seat and the front of the toilet!

FUCK .....
Having lived with only men for practically my entire life, I don't even bother wasting my breath about cleaning up when the aiming isn't so good (almost always).
In their minds, they NEVER miss.
Therefor, piss on the floor/seat/bowl/wall/ceiling/etc. doesn't exist.
Whatever.

Anyway, what I want installed, is a floor to ceiling urinal that takes up an entire wall.
I know, not aesthetically pleasing in a house, right?
Fuck it.
It's my house, and it's practical.


********************

While Dad's been in town, I have been glued to the Olympics.
Hockey, Biathlon, Super-G, Slalom, Downhill, Bobsled, Ice skating, Speed skating, Skeleton, Luge, Snowboarding, and yes ...... CURLING.
I love them ALL!
Yep, I'm a dork.
I cant help myself.
I grew up in the Great White North.
Canada was but a stones throw away, and you know how those crazy canucks LOVE their hockey and curling!
Yeah, so do I.
Dad & I even got The Common Law to watch curling.
Womens curling.
He loves to hear cute blondes screaming "HARDER!" and "LET IT COME!" and of course, "YES!!!!!!!!".
Not to mention, they have brooms, so it looks like they're cleaning as well.
(Remember, I am NOT June fucking Cleaver or Betty fucking Crocker!)
Now, if only they were naked and bringing an adult beverage.
It would be the marquee sport of the Olympics.

*sigh*
Good times ....

********************

As I wrote earlier, Dad was in town for The Boy's b-day.
He turned 11.
How in hell can THAT be?????
I'm only 18 for chrissakes!
Ok, 28.
No???
Fuckers.
Yeah, yeah ..... 37.

Dad took my baby to Daytona for his b-day.
Not for Sunday's 500, but on Friday for the IROC and Truck races.
They had a fab time and came home with many goodies and some tasty treats.
Lucky lil shit.



I've missed y'all.
Now I need to go watch more Olympics.

Happy Hump Day Humpers!

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