It's official ....
This "sandwich generation" seriously sucks rhinoceros testicles.
My Dad had pretty intense and extensive neck surgery this past Monday to replace pretty much his entire cervical portion of his spine.
The discs were gone, baby, gone!
He now has some spiffy new titanium discs and cadaver bones to keep his head upon his body.
He also has rules he has to follow ...
No lifting ANYTHING heavier than a coffee cup
No bending over
No smoking
But, like any 'child' in their mid 70's, he's broken all of them.
He wasn't even home 24 hours before he managed to break all 3 of them.
So now I find myself parenting my 70something Father.
I don't much care for it.
It really sucks.
Rhinoceros testicles.
Dead Rhino's at that.
It's gonna be a looooooong 8 weeks.
Send vodka.
My Dad had pretty intense and extensive neck surgery this past Monday to replace pretty much his entire cervical portion of his spine.
The discs were gone, baby, gone!
He now has some spiffy new titanium discs and cadaver bones to keep his head upon his body.
He also has rules he has to follow ...
No lifting ANYTHING heavier than a coffee cup
No bending over
No smoking
But, like any 'child' in their mid 70's, he's broken all of them.
He wasn't even home 24 hours before he managed to break all 3 of them.
So now I find myself parenting my 70something Father.
I don't much care for it.
It really sucks.
Rhinoceros testicles.
Dead Rhino's at that.
It's gonna be a looooooong 8 weeks.
Send vodka.
Labels: Asshats-r-us, Better living through pharmaceuticals, I have nothing particularly witty or clever to say, my family
forged in the pits of hell by BlazngScarlet @ 5/19/2013 06:34:00 PM
6 Comments
6 Comments:
Gah! I had to help my mom when she had back surgery. I could do it for two weeks. I did it well. She was better, I handed her off and ran. But eight weeks? And she was... oh who am I kidding. She was just as bad. Then again she was back to business by the time the doctors thought she'd be standing, so I won't complain too much. I came back and did another month, when she wasn't on morphine, or whatever.
Do they still hand out Valium for nerves, I forgot to check when doing my tour of duty? :p
Ha! But what good is a man without spirit in his blood? Good luck to your faither hen, he sounds like he actually has a big pair!
I don't know shit about shit (and I house SHIT) or even what a sandwich generation is. That said, what I do know is a man, by nature of having balls (rhino'd or not), is gonna break the rules just so he can then drop trough and piss on 'em. The more piss in his vinegar, the better...'course I'm not the one cleaning up the mess:D
Speaking of a lady who likes her vodka, I wrote a limerick on the subject, and wonder if it may apply to you
I once knew a girl who could drink
Of vodka, I think, she did stink
But turn her aroun'
My UP to her down
Her temple was Shirley and pink
Sending you smiles and wishing your pops a quick recovery--
Rafa
it does suck. you can only do so much for him, though - and if he doesn't listen to you, or the docs, there isn't much you can do other than... threats. yes. threats. whatever he hates most in the world - Oprah & Dr. Phil marathons, bluegrass music, visits from the nice bluehaired ladies from church - tell him that if he doesn't cut that shit out, you're going to arrange to make his life GENUINELY miserable! i'm sure you can do it! GO!
DOOM: No valium .... hence, the vodka!
CHEF: Spirit in his blood? Are you referring to his Scots/German roots or the single malt?
RAFA: My dear, "sandwich generation" refers to people like me being the caregiver to elderly (and CRAZY) parents and my darling (ungrateful) offspring.
Either way, any semblance of NORMAL and SANE I had left should be completely gone by July.
I may just be on my way to Betty Ford.
And don't call me Shirley! ;D
DAISYFAE: um .... he LOVES all those things. Worse, he's OD-ing on Military Channel, History Channel and every WWII show he can find.
I did tell him that I picked out a lovely room at one of the local retirement homes for him. Just for Rehab (wink, wink, nod, nod).
That seems to have had an impact (so far!)
Thanks for all your support guys! I truly do appreciate it.
Seriously though, send vodka.
Hmmm as I think about it, I would probably break them to and probably a few they hadn't thought of ha ha ha
As someone who has to deal with two well in their 80s on a daily basis, who think because the rules are in English and they don't understand the language, the rules do not apply to them, all i have to say is vodka in not enough.
Undiluted moonshine with tequila chasers ;)
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