April 28, 2011

Piece of the puzzle ....

I'm not sure if y'all are aware, but April is Autism Awareness month.
At least 50 kids today will be diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum.
Like mine was not too long ago.

My sweet, beautiful boy was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, Pervasive developmental disorder-Non Specific.
What does it mean?
Well, he displays some tendencies of Asperger Syndrome, and some tendencies of Autism.
Developmentally? He IS behind.
Intellectually? He's a genius.
Diagnostically? he's on the Autism spectrum. 
It's a very broad spectrum with a massive amount of grey area.

We knew he had some development issues 2 years ago and he started getting help.
He had been progressing amazingly well.
But in the last couple of months, his behaviors have changed enormously.
Many meetings ....
Tons of phone calls ....
I'm still in the process of working things out and getting him all the help he needs.
But ......
It's a battle.
It's a process.
And with all the budget cuts?
Yeah ..... it's even harder.

Personally, i'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.
I work with severely autistic kids, so I know how very challenging it can and will be.
But this is MY child.
My sweet surprise that just turned 6.
My blond haired, blue-eyed, gap-toothed, butt chin baby boy.

I watch him struggle with basic things like dressing himself and riding a bike.
But then out of the blue, he does complicated math problems (multiplication and division) and reads books that would normally be above him.
He's more computer literate than his teachers!
He is obsessed with Mario Brothers, Star Wars and Pokemon .... he can tell you everything about any of these subjects.
He's a wonder and joy.
Except when he's not.
It's difficult to take him places sometimes.
He looks 'normal'.
He acts 'normal' .... mostly.
But when he has a meltdown?
My son becomes "that kid".
You've seen him ....
The kid screaming and kicking in the middle of wherever we happen to be.
The kid who clenches his fists and whose eyes get dark and distant.
The kid who talks to himself, rocks, sucks his thumb, twirls his hair and when REALLY upset,
gouges his face with his fingernails till he bleeds, or bites his arm till he bleeds.
The kid that throws things, like shoes, chairs, dishes.
The kid that says such hateful, vile things in the heat of anger.
People don't understand.
And that includes people in my family.
They just don't get it.
Somedays, I don't get it.
But i'm trying ...

So, if you see "that kid" out somewhere .... don't just automatically assume that his parents should "do something" about his/her behavior.
Maybe they're doing all they can.
Sometimes the hardest disabilities are the ones you can't see.


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At 4/28/11, 12:46 AM , Blogger Buffalo said...

That has to be tough!

At 4/28/11, 11:10 AM , Blogger Kimberly said...

Oh Girl...my thoughts are with you and I am THAT person who spots THOSE kids and I don't always blame the parent, I too blame the kid and that is just me.

Keep that head up & drive on.

At 4/28/11, 12:13 PM , Blogger Boxer said...

awww, Blaze, I'm sorry. For your boy and for you. That's not an easy road to travel and I have a distant nephew in my life that is bordering on Aspergers and I can't image what you're experiencing.

He's lucky to have you as him Momma and I hope all of the work you're doing now will help him in his future. xoxoxo.

At 4/28/11, 2:55 PM , Blogger morningstar said...

Well we both know exactly what you are facing..... and you were right when you entitled this entry "a piece of the puzzle" .. there will be many more puzzle pieces to piece together.. BUT I know you and the lil guy will come through this with flying colours.

Just remember it will get better !!!

At 4/28/11, 5:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

My ex-step son has aspergers. He is at the very lowest end of the spectrum. He has trouble in social situations, not in his studies though. As he gets older, he will learn to deal with it. He sometimes will say and do inapproiate things. I saw him start to do better as he got older. As a little boy, he was a handful. I don't watch American Idol but there is some rocker kid on there that is doing very well and he has aspergers.

At 5/12/11, 2:04 AM , Blogger The Dude said...

Sincerest best wishes, I hope that with some passage of time you find your equation with your son and things get better.
So long as you care for each other and are happy the majority of the time, I guess thats more then most people ever really have.
Take care and all the best to you and your family.


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