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May 13, 2010

When in Jamaica ....

.... do as the Jamaicans do.
Yes?
Hmmm ..... sorta.
I was offered weed.
A LOT.
My kids were offered weed.
A LOT.
I plead the fifth.

However, while I was in Jamaica, I decided the best way to tame my naturally curly and unruly mane of thick, red hair would be to have it braided.

Like Bo Dereks braids in "10".











Only, I don't look ANYTHING like Bo Derek.
Not
Even
Close!

So I apologize now for the shock you're about to see.










Yes, that is I.
Braided.
Drunk too.
Gotta love Jamaican rum.

Now, the braids themselves were a good idea.
My hair was kept under control and out of my face.
You know what wasn't a good idea?
Dumbass me NOT wearing a hat and letting my virgin scalp get singed from the hot tropical sun.
Guess what happens when you get REALLY burnt?
Most people blister up a bit right?
Well, guess what happens when you're scalp is unable to blister?
Come on, guess.
Really ....

The fluid moves down and the blister comes out in your face.









Usually in the forehead.
But, because I'm so extra special, I awoke to my *right eye swollen shut and my face all poofy.
On Mother's Day.
(Happy Mothers Day to y'all by the way )
This picture was actually taken after I had iced it down for about 4 or so hours.
Terrifying, I know.

So let this be a lesson to you kids, if you want to "go native", pay attention.
I now know why the women all wear bandanas across their heads.





*By night time, both eyes were swollen shut. 

Labels:

7 Comments:

At 5/13/10, 7:57 PM , Blogger The Savage said...

Oh sweety! You are fair and pail.. you should have known better...

Welcome back you sexy thang you!

 
At 5/13/10, 10:51 PM , Blogger BlazngScarlet said...

Sav: It's funny, I DO know better.
Really.
I bathed in SPF 50 sunscreen (I still burned), I just HATE HATS! lol
And honestly? It didn't even occur to me that my scalp would burn as bad as it did.
So yeah, I truly AM a fucktard!
HA HA HA HA

It's good to be home ... and thank you for missing me. :D

 
At 5/14/10, 1:50 AM , Blogger Walker said...

OUCH!!!!!!!!
You sure it wasn't the weed your kids bought for you that did that?

I don;'t know, I think Bo could give you a run for the money maybe, if you trip that is.

Booze, braids and bongs, sounds like a fun trip.
Did the boobs get any exposure to the sun ;)

 
At 5/14/10, 10:16 AM , Blogger Boxer said...

ouchhhhhhhhhhh.

blisters aren't good. That's a super nasty burn, so you watch that area carefully.

(you look adorable drunkee)

 
At 5/14/10, 10:39 AM , Blogger Heff said...

Damn ! Use some of that weed you guys smuggled back to ease your pain !

 
At 5/14/10, 3:46 PM , Blogger morningstar said...

oh sweetie that looks bloody painful.. bet you peeled real nice too eh??

glad you are home...

morningstar

oh btw... i should be back up and running next week.. keep your fingers crossed for me k??

 
At 5/14/10, 7:07 PM , Blogger CeCe Savage said...

Those braids are interesting...

I'm reminded of the first time I went to Jamaica. I was 11 years old. My parents and I were in our hotel room. It was about 10pm and I stepped onto the balcony to enjoy the warm night air. I stepped back in the room to ask my parents, "what is that heavenly smell? The whole air smells like that. But I don't remember that smell from earlier today what is that?" My parents were half appalled and half amused. They explained what the smell was and threatened all manner of evil if I became too involved with the smell. Good times.

A Researcher of Life

 

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