When in Jamaica ....

.... do as the Jamaicans do.

Yes?

Hmmm ..... sorta.

I was offered weed.

A LOT.

My kids were offered weed.

A LOT.

I plead the fifth.

However, while I was in Jamaica, I decided the best way to tame my naturally curly and unruly mane of thick, red hair would be to have it braided.

Like Bo Dereks braids in "10".

Only, I don't look ANYTHING like Bo Derek.

Not

Even

Close!

So I apologize now for the shock you're about to see.

Yes, that is I.

Braided.

Drunk too.

Gotta love Jamaican rum.

Now, the braids themselves were a good idea.

My hair was kept under control and out of my face.

You know what wasn't a good idea?

Dumbass me NOT wearing a hat and letting my virgin scalp get singed from the hot tropical sun.

Guess what happens when you get REALLY burnt?

Most people blister up a bit right?

Well, guess what happens when you're scalp is unable to blister?

Come on, guess.

Really ....

The fluid moves down and the blister comes out in your face.

Usually in the forehead.

But, because I'm so extra special, I awoke to my *right eye swollen shut and my face all poofy.

On Mother's Day.

(Happy Mothers Day to y'all by the way )

This picture was actually taken after I had iced it down for about 4 or so hours.

Terrifying, I know.

So let this be a lesson to you kids, if you want to "go native", pay attention.

I now know why the women all wear bandanas across their heads.

*By night time, both eyes were swollen shut.