Parenting 101 .....
As a single parent of 2 boys, I have become accustomed to having answer some pretty tough questions.
Where do babies come from?
MOM! Why does my penis itch????
Where's my Daddy?
Yep. My boys have thrown them ALL at me.
Or so I thought.
Driving home the other night, lil' man blurts out, "Mommy, we're going to see each other again someday in heaven with God and Jesus, right?"
PAUSE
"I love God and Jesus!"
"Do you believe in God and Jesus Mommy?"
Christ on a cupcake .... REALLY?????
And there it was .... the one question I NEVER wanted to hear.
Or answer.
But my inquisitive 8 year old wanted to know.
And he wanted to know NOW!
I didn't want to lie to him.
But ... how could I tell him the truth?
How would my very much believing baby understand that his Momma is a non-believing, hedonistic heathen?
My "faith" disappeared years ago (with the help of a drunken, pedophile priest)
Looking into his sweet, innocent face, there was no way I could tell him.
It wouldn't be fair.
To him or me.
For him, it would crush his heart.
For me, it would just lead to other questions that I really DO NOT want to answer anytime soon.
So, I did what every good parent does ......
I quickly changed the subject, took him to the pet store to look at puppies and bought him a Slurpee.
I sure did.
I have no shame in my game.
Where do babies come from?
MOM! Why does my penis itch????
Where's my Daddy?
Yep. My boys have thrown them ALL at me.
Or so I thought.
Driving home the other night, lil' man blurts out, "Mommy, we're going to see each other again someday in heaven with God and Jesus, right?"
PAUSE
"I love God and Jesus!"
"Do you believe in God and Jesus Mommy?"
Christ on a cupcake .... REALLY?????
And there it was .... the one question I NEVER wanted to hear.
Or answer.
But my inquisitive 8 year old wanted to know.
And he wanted to know NOW!
I didn't want to lie to him.
But ... how could I tell him the truth?
How would my very much believing baby understand that his Momma is a non-believing, hedonistic heathen?
My "faith" disappeared years ago (with the help of a drunken, pedophile priest)
Looking into his sweet, innocent face, there was no way I could tell him.
It wouldn't be fair.
To him or me.
For him, it would crush his heart.
For me, it would just lead to other questions that I really DO NOT want to answer anytime soon.
So, I did what every good parent does ......
I quickly changed the subject, took him to the pet store to look at puppies and bought him a Slurpee.
I sure did.
I have no shame in my game.
Labels: Damn kids, I'm a rocket surgeon., my kids are my world, My Mommy life, Mychildren don't think i'm funny, that's some funneh shit
forged in the pits of hell by BlazngScarlet @ 11/23/2013 01:13:00 PM
10 Comments
10 Comments:
did you buy him a puppy??? No - well then you are still safe (cheeky grin)
As parents we do what we have to do......... simple as that.
I remember when my kid asked me that question; actually one similar. She wanted me to tell her who god is. I never saw it coming.
Told her that I didn't personally know her so she should ask her mom.
Hmmm Maybe you could buy him the new Black Sabbath CD it asks the same question, almost.
You answer the questions your little man asks you that you can and slurpy out of the ones you can't,perfect.
When he grows up he will find the answers he wants and if not his wife/GF can slurpy him through it.
I guess nothing ever changes but the delivery ha ha ha
Perfectly played, no lies, no hurt feelings, no confusion, no puppy and most of all, no Ghod! Well done hen.
i used similar tactics, until they got more diligent in their questioning. we used to let them attend church with friends, when invited. talked through the experience afterwards. i'd ask what they thought. it was easier to discuss religions -- various denominations. we could stick to facts, history, etc. and they were satisfied.
in the end, i treated questions about god the same way i treated questions about santa claus -- "what do you think?" is a perfectly good question in response to "is there a god?". when they ask what you believe? there will be a time to tell them...
you done good, sister! although a puppy wouldn't hurt!
MORNINGSTAR: He wants a hamster now ... GAH!
BUFFALO: Good to see you darl! You have been missed!
I love that you refer to god as a SHE! lol
WALKER: nice .....
CHEF: Not sure if was perfect, but it worked!
DAISYFAE: We did talk about it again later, and I asked him if he wanted to go to church (yeah, i'd take him if he really wanted), but he said no. He doesn't equate believing in god with going to church.
Sometimes the kid just amazes me with acute insight!
Best be careful, Blaze...kid's are smart. Soon, every time he wants a "slurpee", he'll start pickling you a question that gives you pause. Not a bad tactic, but could end up costing you a pretty penny...and maybe even a PUPPY! (I love puppies:D)
Fortunate for me, I so enjoyed the squirm, I kept at it long after the "slurpees" dried up ...or lost their appeal. Matter of fact, I'm drumming up a good'n, special for this Thanksgiving weekend.
Now tha's a dilemma quite a few parents have shared wif' ya, Blzng.
What an adorable li'l boy. Mebbe ya can jes' affirm his faith and dodge yore own doubt, fer now. "Oh Sugar, of course we will see each other again." Ya' knows Aunty's mind on this, but I ain't gonna proselytize ya none. But would hope ya doan mind ifffin' I suggest ya' ain't got no need to believe in drunken pedofile priests. That believe in God and Jesus doan require you embrace the disgustin' sins of anyone. The question at bottom is the same wail we all have, " how can a good God allow bad things to happen to innocent people?"
Sorry, IPad doan speak Cracker, pls fer give the misspellings that ain't cracker misspellings 😉
Not much comfort right now, but when I suffer, or see loved ones wif' awful suffering, I remember that even the Son of God suffered horribly, innocent and good as He wuz. Suffering is a mystery we may never really grasp fully. Clumsy though it be, Blzng, I can share wif' ya that suffering is the other side of the coin of free will. If mankind is to be free,not automated puppet people on a heavenly string, then he must be truly free. And people use their free will to do abominable thangs.
The whole human story is a story of leaning to do the good thang, even if I'se free to do the bad. By using mah free will to freely follow the way that Jesus outlined, I am not suddenly un- free, but freely giving my will to the good. Oh no! Gotta hush up now or I will be guilty of preaching. Sorry. But kiss that sweet boy's head fer me.
Hey, Blaze! Hoping you had an awesome Thanksgiving: D
A thought has been gnawing at me to perculation, and have decided to share:
A kindly old priest took a fall
His love for youth's flesh just too tall
So he cried, "Oh sweet Jesus!
I'm down on my knees'es
For whom, in the Hell, do I call?"
Haha:D
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