Back to life ....

.... back to reality.

Reality bites!

I'm back to work now ... which is good .... but I kinda got used to being home.
Getting up at 5am sucks ass.
I should just be grateful that I have a job to go back to.
While i've been out, the school district has done a major overhaul and has not only eliminated a shit ton of jobs, they also were able to get a proposition passed that will eliminate a shit ton more.
Today it was announced that after our Stupidvisor (he's a class 'A' douchebag) "retires", we will be using the services of a neighboring school districts Supervisor.
He will split his time between his district (super small) and ours (very large).
It should be interesting.
The inmates will be running the asylum!
Like I said, I should just be grateful I still have a job.
I am.

But i'm still concerned.
"They" want to cut special needs programs .... and I'm not sure how that will affect Little Man.
I'll just have to wait and see.
And hope.

I hate waiting.

Land of confusion .....

Are we in 2012?
I wonder sometimes ......

Change?

What the fuck happened to Blogger????

I've never switched to the new template style.
So why did Blogger decide to change what wasn't broke?
My comments look like crap.

*sigh*
Change.

Maybe Wordpress is in my future

More of the same ...

I saw my doctor today ....

He released me back to work on Jan 30th.

With restrictions.

I can't lift OR pull anything over 20lbs.

Exsqueeze me???

Due to the nature of my job, I can't go back to work.

For 3 more months.

Fucktard say what???

Can y'all see the flames that are shooting out from every orifice in my body?????

I've been out of work for just over a month, and now I have to add another 3????

I won't make it.

I WILL kill someone.

Or at least severely HURT them!

Or myself.

Not only that, but I don't get disability.

My job doesn't offer it for part-timers, and technically, that's what I am.

I am beyond a BAB! (Broke Ass Bitch)

I may have to sell a child!

Anyone in need?????

Anyone??????

*chirp*

That's what I thought ......

*Excuse me now while I go drink myself into oblivion and maybe take a Vicodin (or 5).

*not really .... but it sounds good right about now!



Peaceful Journey to you Ms. Etta James!

UTERUS*

So ... since I haven't heard from my Doctors office, I decided to give

them a lil' jingle and find out when my surgery might be scheduled.

After being place on hold for a gajillion  few minutes, the Office Bitch Manager

comes on the line and proceeds to tell me that I have to sign a consent form first.

OK says I.
I will come today and then we can get it scheduled right away, right?

Um .... not quite.

According to my (lame-ass) insurance company, the consent form has to be

ON FILE for at least ONE MONTH prior to surgery.

EX-SQUEEZE ME???????

Do the math .....

(I'll wait  .... I want a coffee anyway)

Everyone with me now? Good.

So ...... there goes Black Friday shopping!

AND 

I'll be on strict bed rest for the first 2 weeks AFTER the surgery and recovery for another 6!

I hope the kids don't want Christmas.

*I just want you all to say UTERUS .... it makes me giggle.  =)

Life; interrupted

*I know it's hard to believe, but the world (mine in particular) DOES NOT revolve around YOU!

Get the fuck over yourself ....

Live your life .....

STOP trying to worm your way into MINE!

That is all.

*This rant is in no way intended or directed at any of my gentle and lovely readers.

Some days you just gotta let it out.

It's Monday ...... again

"Did you know that you have a few golf ball sized fibroids behind your uterus?"

Hmmm ..... so THAT'S where I put those!

WTF?

How would I know that?

Sweet hell .....

I REALLY hate Mondays.

TMI Tuesday (REALLY!)

Soooo ..... 

I am now a woman of a 'certain age'.

My body is going through all kinds of really fucked up  normal"changes".

Some good.

Some not so good.

One of my 'not so good' has to do with birthing my 2 gorgeous, talented, ungrateful boys.

They ruined my girlish figure!

Literally.

They, along with lifting things I shouldn't have been, have caused my internal "lady parts" to start *falling out!

(I swear, even as I type that, all I hear is the old lady calling out from the floor, "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!")

I have the trifecta of prolapses.

What does that mean? 

My uterus, bladder and rectum have all become UNattached and are pushing into the vaginal cavity.

They are falling out.

Let me say that again ..... they are
FALLING
THE
FUCK
OUT!

From inside.

I'm not sure exactly how or when it happened.

But I do know that i've had some "issues" since about January-February.

I didn't think much of it at the time; it was all very minor stuff.

But when I went to my regular "lady parts" checkup, my gyno was more than a bit concerned.

YAY ME!

Since then, I have had a barrage of tests ranging from a transvaginal ultrasound,

(Translation: They shove insert a rod into your pussy to have a look around. I call it the Dildogram. 

The wand/rod looks like a dildo. The hard plastic kind) blood work, more "lady part" exams than I care for, and today's fun ... a Urodynamic test!

The Urodynamic test consists of a catheter shoved inserted into your bladder and another in the rectum.

They fill your bladder with water slowly and ask how your bladder feels at different intervals.

They also have you cough and strain.

Finally, when you tell them that you REALLY have to pee, they stop and remove the catheter.

Everything is recorded as you're connected to a computer as well.

I still have Cystoscopy left to have done.

That'll be another EXCITING test! 

I get a CAMERA shoved inserted into my "lady parts"!

I better not see THOSE pics on Facebook!

All of these annoying as fuck tests are leading up to a meeting where I find out what the course of action and/or treatment plan will be.

I'm praying that he doesn't mention surgery involving using the vaginal mesh that is so popular in 

the treatment of "lady parts" falling out.

There are lawsuits out the ying AND the yang involving this shit.

What am I hoping for?

A few things actually.

See, on top of these issues, I also have fibroids all over my insides.

They have caused me much grief over the years.

In MY world, I would get a hysterectomy and then have all my parts REattached!

But we shall see .....

October 10th.

Till then, i'm just gonna be slightly more than my crazy/sexy/bitchy/insane self.

Oh yeah, I'm on a "NO SEX" till further notice.

Again, YAY ME! Poor Jack ....

*I was going to add a picture for better visual understanding, but honestly? They were all waaaaaaay to graphic! Google "Vaginal prolapse" if you must see what the hell i'm talking about! Mines just not THAT bad. Yet.

It's Monday ......

Take 2 and start over on Tuesday.

*.... and all is right in my world

The boys WILL be back!

*at least for today! =)